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Rindu.

Semalam, i cried myself to sleep.

Rindu mendengar suara Habib Ali Zaenal Abidin.
Rindu tatap rupa bersih bercahaya habib.
Rindu bau wangian oud dikeliling.
Rindu pandang senyum manis para pencari ilmu.
Rindu rasa hati yang tenang setiap minggu.
Rindu ada jiwa yang disiram dengan ilmu adab setiap minggu.

Faham, sekarang dihalang untuk mengelak fitnah.
Faham, patuh dengan mak ayah mungkin lagi besar pahala dari pergi kelas pengajian.
Faham, bukan dihalang selamanya.

Bukan tak boleh, nak pergi ke setiawangsa setiap jumaat malam, sorang sorang, senyap senyap, jangan bagitau orang. Apa salahnya. Bukan aku ada niat buruk. Nak cari ilmu kot. Tapi… ‘Niat tidak menghalalkan cara’.

Sedih, Tuhan saja yang tahu.
“aku rasa kena reject!!!”

Tapi, kena sentiasa bersangka baik dengan Allah swt. Maka —
“Allah nak uji tahap kesabaran, perseverance. Sejauh mana cinta aku nak mencari ni.”

*kesat air mata*

Doa hari hari. Mintak Allah buka balik jalan untuk aku hadir kelas pengajian. Sebab jujurnya, sekarang, hari ke hari, aku rasa… kosong.

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bazook:

pinkypyro:

kevinsanoposts:

Six hundred goddamn AD

Six hundred. Goddamn AD.

This needs to be en-grained in every single living human.


This needs to be in my house. preferably in my parent’s bedroom.

bazook:

pinkypyro:

kevinsanoposts:

Six hundred goddamn AD

Six hundred. Goddamn AD.

This needs to be en-grained in every single living human.

This needs to be in my house. preferably in my parent’s bedroom.

(Source: hadeiadel, via uncomfortablydumb)

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"Selagi mampu,
Aku akan terus bersangka baik pada Allah.
Dan aku pun harap kau juga begitu."

— (via penulisbuta)

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"

If only I could just say “I give up”.
If only I could pretend like none of it matters.
If only I could walk away from all of this without breaking hearts.

But I can’t give up.
I’ve come this far.
I can’t pretend like none of this matters because it does — to those I love. To those who love me.
I can’t just walk away and break those hearts.

So I’ll just walk through it… breaking mine.

"

— Lini Ismadi, May 2014.

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Cerita #RoadToReality lagi k?

Antara highlights masa kat #Palestine , was to visit the Dome of the Rock.

Yakni batu yang dalam cerita Isra’ Mikraj. Batu yang nak ikut Rasulullah saw masa Rasulullah saw nak naik ke syurga tapi Rasulullah kata jangan ikut, so batu tu stay je terapung, dengar cakap. Dan batu tu tak pernah turun balik ke tanah. It remains afloat. SubhanAllah.

So bila orang yang tengok batu yang terapung, secara normal nya — orang akan tergila sekejap. Jadi taksub. Bila taksub — buat lah kerja-kerja khurafat.

Therefore in order to make them stop, they built a platform under the rock, to make it look like the rock is the upper part of a cave. Sebab manusia ni — suka ikut logik. TAK LOGIK LA BATU BOLEH TERAPUNG !!!

Kita lupa yang kuasa Allah swt ni is way beyond that. Astaghfirullah.

Alhamdulillah, Allah swt bagi peluang sampai ke sana. Masuk bawah ‘gua’ tu. This is what it’s like. A small cave, batu je.

Tapiiiii — setiap tapak kita pijak tu, seorang rasul pernah pijak situ.
Kat depan sekali, mihrab Nabi Ibrahim as.
3 kaki ke belakang, mihrab Nabi Muhammad saw.
4 kaki ke belakang lagi, mihrab Nabi Isa as.
6 tapak ke kanan, mihrab Nabi Ya’kub as. And a few other prophets, dalam ruang yang kecik tu.

Tgh excited ambil gambar, I looked at my mother, mata umi berair. I went to her, held her hands, and asked “kenapa umi menangis?”
And she said “Nabi-nabi kita, beribadah kat tempat macam ni. Kecik, sempit, berbatu, takda carpet pun dulu. Itu pun no complaints. Kita ni, masjid surau besaq, cantik ada aircond — kita tak pi pun.”

And then it hit me.
Betul. Kenapa kita macam tu?

I made some space, buat solat taubat, straight away. I’m sorry Ya Allah. For not realizing this before.

And then… lepas solat, abah ajak berdoa, abah lead.
Before he finished, I stopped him and said “Bah, tolong baca untuk kita semua”

I showed him the translation of my favourite qasidah — “Shollatun Bissalamil Mubin” — and asked him to read it out loud, lead us.

So he started…
“Shalawat serta salam ku persembahkan kepada mu wahai kekasih ku…
Sebagai bukti keteguhan ku kepada mu wahai Nabi saw kekasih ku……”

… and then he stopped. Tears were pouring down our eyes. Abah choked. The first time I saw him cry like a baby.

"Sebagai bukti keteguhan ku kepada mu"?

Bukti?? Bukti apa??
Apa yang kita ada untuk tunjuk keteguhan kita kepada Rasulullah Muhammad SAW??

We’ve got nothing. Tak setanding langsung dengan everything that he has gone through for us.

"Ummati, ummati, ummati…"

How many times do we say his name in a day? Berapa kali kita selawat untuk Nabi Muhammad SAW yang kita gelar ‘kekasih’ ni?

Allahuakbar… panah hati.
I’m sorry Ya Rasulullah.
Thank you Allah for showing me this.

The most perfect man loves us this much, we should return the love. Return it for Allah swt.

Allahumma solli ala sayidina Muhammad.


P/s: The rest of the qasidah translation goes as follows ;

Engkaulah sebenar2nya pemberi peringatan pada masa mu

Wahai kekasih ku,wahai Rasulullah saw yang bercahaya wajahnya penunjuk jalan kebenaran

Tak lekang sholawat tercurah pada mu wahai pembawa kebenaran,
laksana hembusan angin yang kencang.


Let’s return the love by spreading the love. Insya Allah.

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During my legal attachment last year, I asked my boss, owner of the law firm,

"what is it like, practising for years now? How do you feel about yourself? ", 

He replied 

"It’s interesting, because you’re constantly challenging yourself, yes… but after a while, being in the legal profession, you just become numb to sad stories and life dramas. It’s like — you stop caring. You stop feeling sorry for people. You stop sympathising. Because 1/5 stories are most likely bulls***… So when people tell you their problems, you feel nothing. "

This is me practicing my kering face. Yu laik?

I know I’ve always said that I don’t plan on practising law in the future. I have a big heart, I have a lot of emotions about everything and I like that about myself. I don’t want that to fade.

But what if… law school is already moulding me that way from day 1? 
I’m scared. Scared of the thought of feeling… nothing.

During my legal attachment last year, I asked my boss, owner of the law firm,

"what is it like, practising for years now? How do you feel about yourself? ",

He replied

"It’s interesting, because you’re constantly challenging yourself, yes… but after a while, being in the legal profession, you just become numb to sad stories and life dramas. It’s like — you stop caring. You stop feeling sorry for people. You stop sympathising. Because 1/5 stories are most likely bulls***… So when people tell you their problems, you feel nothing. "

This is me practicing my kering face. Yu laik?

I know I’ve always said that I don’t plan on practising law in the future. I have a big heart, I have a lot of emotions about everything and I like that about myself. I don’t want that to fade.

But what if… law school is already moulding me that way from day 1?
I’m scared. Scared of the thought of feeling… nothing.

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The first time I went to Baitullah, tak ramai orang. Sebab musim panas terik dia — tobat!

Tapi baru2 ni pegi, weather was amazing. Sunny but windy. Perfect untuk beribadah. Bila perfect untuk beribadah — ni ha crowd dia. Laaagi tobat!  Hahaha

One day umi ajak “jom naik kat tempat org wheelchair? Kita ambik gambaq”
Padahal sebenarnya org yg ada wheelchair ja boleh naik atas tu. 
Umi ajak jadi ninja. Dia selit-selit, masuk. Tolong minah iran sorg ni tolak mak dia yg atas wheelchair. Skill tu nama dia — camouflage.

Now bayangkan perasaan, bila kita masuk entrance, dengan angin tiup apa semua, and you see THIS. Humankind. PENUH.

Aku terus terduduk. Tak kata apa — mata terus berair. Ego yg selama ni buat diri ni rasa mcm bagus - terus hilang.

I couldn’t think of anything else expect for; “Thank you Allah SWT. Thank you for sending us Muhammad SAW.
Terima kasih ya Rasulallah, ya habibullah, kekasihku. Thank you for loving us this much. Thank you for all your sacrifices.” and tears kept rolling down, I couldn’t stop crying. I didn’t want to stop crying.

If it wasn’t for him — there will be no THIS.
If it wasn’t for him — kita tak kenal apa itu Islam.
If it wasn’t for him — none of us will be here, worshipping Allah SWT like this, right now.

Nabi Muhammad SAW.
This perfect human being brought us all together. 
This perfect human being who loved us enough to show us this beautiful way of life.
This perfect human being who loved us more than anything else even though he has never seen us.
This perfect human being who loves us despite the disappointments we’ve caused him.
This perfect human being that a lot of us take for granted.

Aku rasa kecik, aku rasa buruknya perangai aku bila Nabi Muhammad SAW sayangkan kita sampai mcm ni — tapi kita tak endahkan pun. Buruknya perangai.

Astaghfirullahalazim.

orang kata “tak kenal maka tak cinta”. Thank you Allah for showing me this. 
#Alhamdulillah #LiniJalanJalan #Mekah #RoadToReality #throwback #salamjumaat

The first time I went to Baitullah, tak ramai orang. Sebab musim panas terik dia — tobat!

Tapi baru2 ni pegi, weather was amazing. Sunny but windy. Perfect untuk beribadah. Bila perfect untuk beribadah — ni ha crowd dia. Laaagi tobat! Hahaha

One day umi ajak “jom naik kat tempat org wheelchair? Kita ambik gambaq”
Padahal sebenarnya org yg ada wheelchair ja boleh naik atas tu.
Umi ajak jadi ninja. Dia selit-selit, masuk. Tolong minah iran sorg ni tolak mak dia yg atas wheelchair. Skill tu nama dia — camouflage.

Now bayangkan perasaan, bila kita masuk entrance, dengan angin tiup apa semua, and you see THIS. Humankind. PENUH.

Aku terus terduduk. Tak kata apa — mata terus berair. Ego yg selama ni buat diri ni rasa mcm bagus - terus hilang.

I couldn’t think of anything else expect for; “Thank you Allah SWT. Thank you for sending us Muhammad SAW.
Terima kasih ya Rasulallah, ya habibullah, kekasihku. Thank you for loving us this much. Thank you for all your sacrifices.” and tears kept rolling down, I couldn’t stop crying. I didn’t want to stop crying.

If it wasn’t for him — there will be no THIS.
If it wasn’t for him — kita tak kenal apa itu Islam.
If it wasn’t for him — none of us will be here, worshipping Allah SWT like this, right now.

Nabi Muhammad SAW.
This perfect human being brought us all together.
This perfect human being who loved us enough to show us this beautiful way of life.
This perfect human being who loved us more than anything else even though he has never seen us.
This perfect human being who loves us despite the disappointments we’ve caused him.
This perfect human being that a lot of us take for granted.

Aku rasa kecik, aku rasa buruknya perangai aku bila Nabi Muhammad SAW sayangkan kita sampai mcm ni — tapi kita tak endahkan pun. Buruknya perangai.

Astaghfirullahalazim.

orang kata “tak kenal maka tak cinta”. Thank you Allah for showing me this.
#Alhamdulillah #LiniJalanJalan #Mekah #RoadToReality #throwback #salamjumaat

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Some might say you’re a walnut — hard from the outside. Almost impossible to crack.
Some might say you’re a hot pot, grumpy a lot of the time.
Some might also say you’re blunt, that your words can sting like a freshly squeezed lime juice on an opened cut.

i’d say —
You’re a walnut worth hurting my fingers to crack… because of how sweet and caring you are on the inside.

You’re a hot pot worth burning my palms for because of how warm and kind hearted you are deep down.

Your words may sting sometimes but I know you mean it in the best possible way and will always be taken as a piece of advice. Like a lime on an opened cut - it stings — but it kills away all the germs and make sure the cut heals well. Just like what you’ve been doing for me. You make sure I don’t get infected and that I grow up well :)

You’ve always had a special place in my heart and will always have. You spoil me and make me at the same time. You’re the best substitute to a grandfather I can ever ask for. Thank you Papa Ghani.

Happy 65th birthday. May Allah continue to bless you with everything beautiful in this life and the next. I love you ♥

Your favourite niece, Lini . Hehe

Some might say you’re a walnut — hard from the outside. Almost impossible to crack.
Some might say you’re a hot pot, grumpy a lot of the time.
Some might also say you’re blunt, that your words can sting like a freshly squeezed lime juice on an opened cut.

i’d say —
You’re a walnut worth hurting my fingers to crack… because of how sweet and caring you are on the inside.

You’re a hot pot worth burning my palms for because of how warm and kind hearted you are deep down.

Your words may sting sometimes but I know you mean it in the best possible way and will always be taken as a piece of advice. Like a lime on an opened cut - it stings — but it kills away all the germs and make sure the cut heals well. Just like what you’ve been doing for me. You make sure I don’t get infected and that I grow up well :)

You’ve always had a special place in my heart and will always have. You spoil me and make me at the same time. You’re the best substitute to a grandfather I can ever ask for. Thank you Papa Ghani.

Happy 65th birthday. May Allah continue to bless you with everything beautiful in this life and the next. I love you ♥

Your favourite niece, Lini . Hehe

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Meaning: 
No power nor might except from Allah

Explanation: 
This expression is a highly recommended form of prayer. It is often said by a Muslim to find solace, especially when faced with difficulties.

I thought I wouldn’t be affected - none of the victims are related to me - But I am. Oh Allah, I am. I was listening to the prayers made for #mh370 and I started tearing up.

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah. Ya Allah, tunjukkanlah. Ya Allah, selamatkanlah. Ya Allah, kembalikanlah. Jika itu yang terbaik untuk kami. Sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Berkuasa lagi Mengetahui.

Let’s not stop praying, world. Allah is always listening.

Meaning:
No power nor might except from Allah

Explanation:
This expression is a highly recommended form of prayer. It is often said by a Muslim to find solace, especially when faced with difficulties.

I thought I wouldn’t be affected - none of the victims are related to me - But I am. Oh Allah, I am. I was listening to the prayers made for #mh370 and I started tearing up.

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah. Ya Allah, tunjukkanlah. Ya Allah, selamatkanlah. Ya Allah, kembalikanlah. Jika itu yang terbaik untuk kami. Sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Berkuasa lagi Mengetahui.

Let’s not stop praying, world. Allah is always listening.

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To my superhero… thank you for being strong enough to carry me for 23 years, thank you for making sure that I will always have someone to catch me whenever I fall. (Literally and figuratively)

To my first love… thank you for  loving me before we even met, thank you for loving me before I could even say it back to you, thank you for loving me through each and every one of my flaws and mistakes, and thank you for making me believe that I am indeed a princess, and therefore should always be treated like one.

And to my father… thank you for being our leader. Thank you for being our Imam. Thank you for all your sacrifices. Thank you for showing us the meaning of life by example. Thank you for making sure that we always have our feet on the ground. Thank you for being strong for us.

Happy 50th birthday Bah. I wish you everything beautiful in this world. I wish you wellness of the body & soul, calmness of the heart and happiness in this life & beyond. 

Allah is great. He didn’t let me choose who my father was going to be… But he gave me one who I would never want to replace. I love you bah. Forever and always. ♥ ♥ ♥

To my superhero… thank you for being strong enough to carry me for 23 years, thank you for making sure that I will always have someone to catch me whenever I fall. (Literally and figuratively)

To my first love… thank you for loving me before we even met, thank you for loving me before I could even say it back to you, thank you for loving me through each and every one of my flaws and mistakes, and thank you for making me believe that I am indeed a princess, and therefore should always be treated like one.

And to my father… thank you for being our leader. Thank you for being our Imam. Thank you for all your sacrifices. Thank you for showing us the meaning of life by example. Thank you for making sure that we always have our feet on the ground. Thank you for being strong for us.

Happy 50th birthday Bah. I wish you everything beautiful in this world. I wish you wellness of the body & soul, calmness of the heart and happiness in this life & beyond.

Allah is great. He didn’t let me choose who my father was going to be… But he gave me one who I would never want to replace. I love you bah. Forever and always. ♥ ♥ ♥